I've been in an exceptionally good mood today. I can't quite explain why though. I feel creative and driven and everything that makes a good day for me. I feel like I've actually accomplished something today. I did a lot on my day off. Right now I'm just waiting for Mike to give me a ring. He's playing in Drummondville tonight with the Afterbeat and in the St. Catharines festival tomorrow. I had a strange dream about him last night that had a lot of sexual things in it but they were strange. I ended up in a compromising position with one of his band mates who trust me, I don't have any sort of sexual intentions towards. Even in the dream there was no emotion or anything to it, in fact, I was talking to mike as casual as casual can be while it was going on sooo yea. But in the dream Mike had changed his hair. I was running my fingers through it and it was really thick and nice feeling. So then he pulls off his hood and is like 'hey! check it out!' he had originally dyed it blonde but then dyed it dark like it is now with white hairs all put through it in a salt and pepper sort of style. He was telling me how hey'd layered it and everything and it was really nice! It made him look hot :) I keep having dreams with Mike and I trying to get it on but we always get interrupted. I'm not too sure what that means. Maybe it's because we haven't done it in a while because of him being away? I better still be in the mood tomorrow when he gets home :D I'm so pumped to see him! YAY!!! This week hasn't been so bad. I've talked to him nearly every day which is awesome considering he's been in Montreal. This makes me think that next year won't be so bad at all. I like being independent and being able to go do stuff on my own. When Mike was in London I usually did stuff with him because it was easy to call him up and go out, but now that he won't be there I think I'll call up everyone else as much as I can to go out instead.

I've decided that the only stress in my life right now is Sara. I've never had to deal with a bigger bitch. I really hate her someimtes and I'm not just being petty about it. She truly drives me nuts. It's like a little screw twisting into my brain each time she says something rude or ignorant or bitchy. I think one of these days I will honestly and truly snap on her and hit her in the face. I've envisioned doing it every time she has told me to fuck off or broken my stuff without giving a shit (seriously!) for the past five years. I am SOOO happy to be going to London where I don't have to put up with her shit. I don't have to worry about my stuff being stolen, I don't have to listen to her bitch bitch bitch all the time, I don't have to deal with her attitude, I don't have to deal with the fact that my parents seem to think she never does any wrong. Getting a lock on my door because she's a compulsive stealer has been like pulling teeth. For a month and a half now I've bugged my dad for one and still no lock. He doesn't see any reason to put one there. Well that's nice. Asshole. She's so used to getting her way all the time that it's rediculous trying to get something done around here. If she steals something of mine, I'm the one with the problem. She had a week a while back where she was a real bitch to my parents and was telling them to fuck off and making a real pain in the ass of herself and what did they do? She couldn't have her friends over one night. Whoop de fucking doo! She had them over the next night so it didn't make a real bit of difference did it? My parents are so afraid to punish her in any way because they don't want her running off to Toronto or something. Idiots. Take away her cell phone. Don't give her money to go out, or better yet, don't let her go out. Take away her computer. ANYTHING. But as long as they do something! She's spoilt and it drives me nuts. I really do hate her sometimes. Actually, make that most of the time. When she's not around my life is so much easier. I am happier. I can't wait to go back to London. Maybe next year I just won't come home.
-Night

I've realized a lot of things today. I would say all in all it has been a good day. The first is that a lot of people in my neighbourhood are very patriotic. I'm glad to see that Canadians are actually proud to live here and proud of what our country stands for. The second is that I can very easily relate to Virginia Woolf and now have a desire to read as many of her works as I can get my hands on. The third is that even though my aunt and my mother might hate each other, my cousin and I still get along really well. The fourth is that I enjoy running and walking. I ran/walked for over an hour today and now I not only feel relaxed and destressed but also much healther. Lastly, is that I've finally accepted that Mike is not going to be around next year. It took one night of crying myself to sleep and another day of silent tears while riding in the car with him to realize that this is it. This summer is the last I have for the next 8 months of seeing him as often as I do. I've only just come to terms with the thought that I can't go to his house if I'm having a bad day so he'll cheer me up. I can't just call him up on the phone to see how his day was without thinking about how much I'm paying in long distance fees. I can't spend a weekend at his house nice and cozy in his room. I don't have him to talk to when I really really need to talk to him. True he is only an hour and a half away, but when the whole world is caving in, that hour and a half might as well be a million miles away. I'm going to miss him so very very much. It's realizing all of this now which has allowed me to appreciate just how much I care for him and realize that he means a great deal more to me than I ever could have imagined. You devil you...you snuck right in there didn't you?